yuerstruly

yuer 雩兒 (YuEr ✔️; Yuer ✖️)
they/she | ’02
chinese/taiwanese-american
eng/中

interests (ordered by current engagement frequency)
sports | nhl, nba, pwhl, f1, unrivaled, wnba
gacha games | genshin, hsr, lads, tot
kpop | nct, aespa, h2h, xnghan
baihe/danmei novels | ning yuan, tang jiuqing
animanga | daiya, saezuru
cdramas | nirvana in fire, the blood of youth

I will come back to actually update the links but I thought publishing this might help me figure out whether I want to pull my fics out of a hidden collection or just post on Dreamwidth. I don't think I ever really had a writing identity and I jumped pseuds/users so many times to hide from bullies, but I'm no longer 16 or 18 and I can't bring it in myself to care in any capacity. It doesn't really get worse than being doxxed by BNFs as a minor, let's be real...

Note: I had planned to put EVERYTHING into one big post, but given that I'm too under the weather to bring it in me to properly write about NCT and all my feelings, I've opted for a mini series, as I would like to call it, documenting every step of my journey with NCT.

It's April 6, 2026, as I'm writing this. As indicated in the title, I want to write a post documenting how I got into NCT and my journey as a fan since 2015. I had in mind mini letters to each member, not really for them to see per se, but for myself and a reminder of why I have loved NCT for the past decade plus and why I will continue to love them for the years to come, barring controversies. They won't be covered here; I always have way too much to say, and trying to write consistently on Dreamwidth has made me realize I really yap so much. I have can'tshutupitis.

disclaimer: rpf, mixing reality and fiction. just one angle of many because i like to angst it out lmao

Pour in queer horror, mix it with the medieval times, and you get The Starving Saints by Caitlin Starling. The narrative centers around three characters—Phosyne, a supposed nun who has whipped up sorcery to save the water crisis in Aymar Castle without any logic or reasoning to back up her work; Ser Voyne, a loyal knight who finds the lunacy of Phosyne a threat to the people and a waste of resources to keep alive; Treila, a serving girl who wants nothing but to escape the castle and find vengeance against Ser Voyne—as the castle succumbs to the control of divinity that have appeared to heal the sickly and solve the food crisis Aymar Castle is under as a result of going without help for months. The Constant Lady and her Saints have charmed nearly everyone, even Ser Voyne who immediately kneels to serve the Constant Lady, at the negligence of her king. Sounds exciting. In execution, kind of a bore at times, with so many plot points unresolved and so many lore drops left unanswered.

About three months ago, I read Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary, intending to watch the movie with my cohort when it came out. I had no expectations going into the book because even though this read was a "recommendation," the merit of reading the book was more about the community I've stepped into and less about determining which authors could drive the next generation of science fiction (of which, Andy Weir is far from qualifying as a candidate, in my opinion). It should not be a surprise to anyone when I say the book was just okay, not groundbreaking, but still scratched an itch for the more nerdy/STEM side of me that probably would have not vibed with many others. In some ways, that bit of the experience reminded me of my feelings toward Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash, which I have yet to finish to this day.

Welcome to my post where I cover literally every single order of food I had during my week-long stay in NYC :)

photos on tumblr

There are certain expectations when you compare something to Mulan, whether it is the original Ballad of Mulan from the 6th century, the 1998 Disney animated film, or the 2020 Disney live action film. It is not just a tale of crossdressing or a woman leading an army—it entails filial piety, patriotism, and honor that comes with protecting a country that has more continuous history than most regions can imagine. This set up some expectations when I went into She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan, and unfortunately none of those expectations were met.

this post ended up being much longer than i anticipated, but no one should be surprised as i am a chronic yapper. everything under summary drop downs, so it's not clogged

hope i don't regret this, but i will attempt to cover every single thing ever from last month:

books: i finished one book, which was project hail mary by andy weir. a fascinating experience, to say the least, and the main reason this was at the top of my priority list was because the other two in my cohort had already read it, and we're planning to watch it together in theatres. it would be overkill to say i liked it, but it would be underselling my experience to say i didn't like it. it was a weirdly gripping read, and very nerdy, which worked in my favor. i started bunny by mona awad and am almost done with it. i'm listening to the audiobook for this, and i am surprisingly into it, despite my issues with the narrator.

fics: i read 37 fics, which is kind of crazy because i am such a terrible fic reader. in any case, i was camping in the nicojack tag for that entire month, and now i have a crazy backlog of fic comments i need to work on. i read about 891k words in fic, but i want to say it's actually more because there were fics i reread and didn't account for that. i also kept rereading parts that made me cry for a few fics, so perhaps the real number is closer to a million?

movies: i actually watched a single movie, mr. and mrs smith, because um, it had been sitting in my netflix to-watch list and it was leaving the platform oops. admittedly, i have never really been an english-speaking movie watcher. or, movie watcher of any kind… anyway! fun movie! hopefully i don't think too hard about an AU to write and let those urges subside.

music: checked out 6 albums, half of which were tate mcrae's. i have listened to so close to what tracks a LOT, but i still stand by i used to think i could fly being her best album to date. carly rae jepsen's emotion was half of a first-time listen. i've heard some tracks, but never fully listened to this as an ALBUM. 13-year-old me had no concept of pop albums. i listened to gracie's abrams the secret of us, but i got kinda bored outside the single "that's so true." which, haha, i guess i am basic in a way. the album reminded me of taylor swift (derogatory). the last was kevin abstract's blanket, which i need to revisit. i liked "madonna" but the other tracks didn't really make a strong impression. full "on repeat" for the month playlist here.

sports: i watched 37 sports games in total, but not all of them in full. 34 were hockey games, and the remaining 3 were basketball. i will probably be watching less this upcoming month, with the semester picking up and olympic break putting a large gap in the schedule. a third of the games i watched were sharks, of course. put me out of my misery or whatever LMFAO

aka. Year One with the San Jose Sharks and the Consequences of a Heated Rivalry Hyperfixation Snowballing into NHL RPF Brain

aka. My Hockey Origins and How It's Driven Every Reverse Pipeline the Past Month and a Half

Yesterday (2026 January 3rd), I attended my first ever NHL game in person, and probably my first ever SPORTS game ever? Growing up in the Bay means I'm no foreigner to the SAP Center, not when Disney on Ice is bait for every child within driving proximity, but the last time I had been here was the SuperM concert that happened right before the COVID-19 shutdown. I went with my friend and parking was crazy. By the time we'd gotten in, it was 20 minutes until 1PM, in the middle of warmups. I was watching Mack toss pucks to children on a side completely lined with Macklin posters. Amazing.

I had meant to write a post about hockey crashing into my life (and not through Heated Rivalry, though I did tune into that and Hudson Williams has got me reaching levels of deranged I have not seen in so long), but between trying to cram all of my "a year in review" posts and planning for the new year where I attempt a new spreadsheet format that I know will probably not stick 365 days later, I have not gotten there. So I won't expand on how I got into watching the NHL today. We are going straight to my word vomit as a result of me attending open practice with one of my friends for the San Jose Sharks, who are my home team!!

In bullets, because I cannot be bothered to do a nice writeup right now:

• Off the bat, Mack is super recognizable not just because he is all over media but because of the way he moves on the ice. He skates with evident bursts and it really is so fun to watch him skate so smoothly through traffic, as if they aren't even there!!

• Second player I recognized on the ice was Ekky, who looks skinnier in person. Not trying to make a comment on his weight, but it was noticeable especially since he's on the same line as Mack and Cherny.

• Mack was super playful, particularly with Ekky and Wenny and others I cannot put name to face right now. Also smiley and he does have that childlike vibe to him. He also has a lot of animated hand motions, and I'm not exactly sure how to describe them but some of them are similar to what he would do when a teammate scores? I wasn't counting them but I'm pretty sure I saw him do it at least three or four times.

• When Mack and Wenny were waiting on the side closer to the seats, they were bouncing a puck on the blades of their sticks, then tossing it back and forth. I don't really remember who started it, and I almost wished I'd gotten it on video, but I was in Mack's direct line of sight so I didn't want to pull out my phone.

• Didn't realize until I sat down to process what had happened today but the forwards, when not using the entire stretch of the ice, were on the left side. This worked in my favor because I sat a little left of the center and I pay more attention to the forwards in general.

Honestly, super fun experience! Seeing the drills they run, the lines they do, especially since I'm attending the game against the Lightning tomorrow, really helps me process what it's like up close and also witness the work they put in. I want to go again before I head back to campus but I'm not sure it's happening, with the current schedule. Their only 10:30AM open practice falls on a Tuesday, and I have to go to my mother's office that day…well, hopefully we will find a way.

Trying to read more for 2026, as I tell myself every year, and I decided to try picking a book for each letter of the English alphabet as a challenge with my cohort. The list isn't finalized, but I have at least filled it out all the way, and happy with how it turned out.

*Genre tags taken from GR.

As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann
M/M | Historical Fiction

Bunny by Mona Awad
Horror | Thriller | Magical Realism

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, tr. Robin Buss
Historical Fiction
French

Not much to say here, I just wanted to share music :)

Tracks:

STRESS | CHUNG HA

Call It Off | Emotional Oranges, JAEHYUN

Proi Proi | NIDA (Honkai: Star Rail Soundtrack)

The Chase | Hearts2Hearts

Golden | KPop Demon Hunters Soundtrack

kiss or kill her | Louane

body | DAYOUNG

MEEEEEE | NAYEON

FFFFF | Lexie Liu

I Like Ur Look | Kim Petras

DEPRESSED | Anne-Marie

WHERE IS MY HUSBAND! | RAYE

Albums:

STUNNER | TEN

Fancy That | PinkPantheress

TASTE | HAECHAN

Midnight Sun | Zara Larsson

Start Again | Nevertel

My 21st Century Blues | RAYE

My worst reading year yet, and I don't even have any of those. I track my reading on a spreadsheet I made myself, and to no surprise, there is a 5-month gap where I was not consistently reading. That doesn't strike me as odd because this also happened last year, but despite reading "more" this year, my overall reading experience did not feel rewarding.

In total, I read 16 books this year. 12 of them were in English and here is the breakdown: 3 standalone books, 2 duologies, 3 books that were the first in a series, and 2 that were part of a series where I did not start from the first book and do not plan to read the rest of, unless plans change. The remaining 4 were in Chinese, but one of them is so long that the physical uncensored version is 8 volumes, so we can also pretend I read 11 books in Chinese. I also read a poetry collection and two plays. I'll do my best to keep it short this time, but no guarantees.

overview of my thoughts on nct's 2024 music release can be found here. once again, please do not click if you cannot accept criticism of any unit or member of nct

yuer 雩兒 (YuEr ✔️; Yuer ✖️)
they/she
’02
chinese/taiwanese-american
eng/中

interests
nct/aespa/hearts2hearts
baihe/danmei novels
genshin impact, honkai: star rail
love and deepspace, tears of themis
animanga: daiya no ace, wind breaker
cdramas
sports: nba (celtics), nhl (sharks), f1

YuEr is 23, has finished her undergraduate studies and is starting graduate school. Her mother says she should have finished reading the entire Jin Yong collection at the age of 12, and is making attempts to shovel Water Margin and Dream of the Red Chamber into the reading list. Her bookshelf consists of B&N Classics, too many AP prep books, and a bit of YA squeezed in there.

Wait, YA? You read YA?? I wouldn't say I actively seek it out, but I'll give anything a try if I'm into the premise. This is half the reason I chose to pick up Stars and Smoke by Marie Lu. The other half is that I have been trying to write an idol-verse/spy-verse AU for DoJae since 2020, and came across the premise for this duology and gave it a try. I've read two Marie Lu series in my lifetime, and though they were both YA SFF, Stars and Smoke sounded like a fun change-up.

Believe it or not, Stars and Smoke was a fun read. I have some nitpicks here and there, but Marie Lu delivered an impactful story and pulled her punches as needed for climaxing scenes. Objectively, people might say the work is "OKAY," and I could agree, but what fun is there in rating a book 3/5 and leaving it at that?

Pop star Winter Young meets elite spy Sydney Cossette in a task to infiltrate a crime organization and take down the boss, Eli Morrison. Winter is an asset that contradicts the essence of a spy—he's hot, famous, and always the center of attention. This is, however, the ticket into Eli Morrison's lair, with his daughter Penelope being his biggest fan and wanting a private performance from pop sensation Winter Young. With little time to prep, Winter's training focuses on self defense, and applies his choreography-learning skills to imitate whatever Sydney throws at him. He's a quick learner, much to her annoyance and dismay (though his quick reflexes are just what they need if things go south).